So are we engineers anymore, really?

India’s leading Software Service Company M/s. TATA Consultancy Services Ltd. (TCS) recruited 1755 students of the 2012 batch from SASTRA University, during their campus recruitment drive conducted at SASTRA on September 16 & 17, 2011. This world record is for the largest recruitment by any company in the world from a single campus. TCS surpassed its earlier record that it set at SASTRA last year. (source)

1,755 students from my alma mater's class of 2012 were recruited by an IT sweatshop. My class - 2008 - only had a total batch strength of 1,667. Staggering numbers, and probably a world record, but it isn't really something to be proud of if you're calling your institution an "engineering college". Particularly if it is one that produces a vast number of "mechanical engineers", "civil engineers", "biotechnologists" and such - all of whom end up in the same assembly line anyway.

Sadly, this isn't an isolated case among engineering colleges in Tamil Nadu (and probably elsewhere).

Yes, a number of students are not motivated enough to go into their core engineering fields, and yes, a vast number of them only want to get a job and to support their families. But the fact remains that most of these students (from my personal experience with my own batchmates) only want a job - any job. Many of them are clear even when they start off their first year that they only want the IT jobs.

The result of having an overwhelming majority of people wanting to go into IT services jobs is that the non-IT programmes become a farce. I remember at least one lecturer going easy on my mechanical engineering class because "you are all going to only do IT jobs anyway". One lecturer with that attitude is one lecturer too many. Those of us with genuine non-IT interests suffer - and suffer badly. This inflated "demand" for non-IT courses [mostly from those who need an engineering degree for an IT job but don't have the grades to make the limited intake of a high-demand IT programme] also leads to a general deterioration in the quality of faculty hired by engineering institutions. In short, rubbish lecturers with neither the desire nor the ability to teach. Personally I know that this atmosphere destroyed the motivation I had as a naïve youngster out of high school with a fascination for how things work, and I needed to go through a whole year of graduate school before I started to find my love for engineering again.

So maybe it's about time that the IT services majors started their own institutions. Most of the non-IT/non-CSE engineers (and even some of the IT/CSE engineers) start from scratch when these employers do their intensive post-recruitment training for a few months, learning programming and communication skills. Perhaps these companies could establish their own degree programmes, recruiting people fresh out of high school and giving them a grounding in the technical and soft skills they need the most. If they genuinely need people with mechanical or civil or electrical or biotechnological or other skills, they can come by to engineering institutions and recruit only those they genuinely need with those skills. Alternatively, let the engineering institutions open up more seats in IT, computer science and related programmes, and allow only those with a genuine interest to take up mechanical, civil or other engineering branches.

Perhaps it is time to cease the farce and let our engineering programmes go back to being about engineering.

 

Full circle.

Trawling random pages on the internet today (as I usually do), I came across this paper on the ideological debate over language in Sweden:

This article explores a public debate that took place in Sweden in 2002 in relation to the Swedish Liberal Party's proposal to introduce a language test for naturalization. On the basis of textual analysis of relevant policy documents and newspaper articles, it examines the explicit and implicit facets of an ideology of language testing. It is argued that a seemingly liberal, anti-racist, and anti-discriminatory ideology is emerging, which, in its explicit facet, calls for the introduction of a language test for citizenship as a practical way of diminishing social differentiation.

Since I am a foreign citizen who lives in the United States, I compared it with American politics almost as a reflex. Here the political Conservatives are known to demand that English should be a national language. The idea is, I believe, that the English language is central to the idea of an American cultural identity. Critics often say that the demand is aimed at reinforcing the idea that America should be a white, Christian country and will exclude the large number of foreign immigrants here, many of whom do not speak English as a first language*.

The Swedish Liberal argument says a language requirement is necessary to reduce social differentiation and create an equal society. The American Conservative argument says immigrants must adapt and fit into a monolithic "American cultural identity". Same pig, different lipstick.

To build on something I said only a few days ago, it looks like the two sides of the political spectrum will probably just keep moving away from each other to the point where the Left and Right will just loop around and meet on the other side.

*For those who have never been to the USA, it might come as a surprise to know that the United States does not actually have an official language, though most business is carried out in English. Many signs are in both English and Spanish (including a large proportion of food packaging) and there is a large section of immigrants - Latinos and South-east Asians prominent among them - who do not speak English at all.

ICC Causes National Outrage By Declaring That World Cup Has Not Concluded Yet.

In a move that set off tremors of rage throughout India, ICC CEO Haroon Lorgat announced at a press conference in Mohali on Wednesday night that the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 has not ended yet. "Judging from the reactions of the cricket-watching public in India recently, there appears to have been some sort of misunderstanding. The World Cup is not over; in fact India still have a game to play against Sri Lanka in Mumbai on Saturday," Mr. Lorgat said.

His comments, coming in the aftermath of India's victory over Pakistan in that city, have caused widespread anger in the country. A large crowd of protestors gathered at Connaught Place in New Delhi to shout slogans and to burn four effigies. "We are not sure who the ICC chief is. Someone said Haroon Lorgat, someone else said Sharad Pawar or Percy Sonn, I thought it was Ehsan Mani. So we burnt effigies of all of them just to be on the safe side," one protestor said. In Mumbai, model Poonam Pandey was seen breaking down in tears on being informed of the news. "You mean I will have to start spreading publici... I mean, news of a repeat of my selfless and non-attention-whoring un-sacrifice for the national team all over again?" Ms. Pandey was heard saying between sobs.

The Hindu Janajagruti Samiti, an organisation aiming to enlighten the readers of a prominent Chennai-based national daily, released a booklet condemning the anti-Hindu sentiment behind the ICC's move, titled "Event Extended". The issue was even raised in Parliament, with Oxford-Educated And Highly Respected Economist, Architect of India's Financial Reforms In The Early Nineties and Self-Proclaimed All-Round Good Guy But Also Occasionally Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh denying Opposition allegations that he was personally responsible, saying he could not be responsible as he was not aware of these things happening. However, he did admit that he should have paid more attention to what Soniaji said, and that he would be willing to appear before any ICC investigative committee on the matter.

Asked to comment on the news, India captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni seemed unflustered. "Well of course, we are professional cricketers and we have to be prepared for these things, you can say. We will do our best on Saturday, " Mr. Dhoni said, before proceeding to the ground for an optional practice session where most of the team (except Ravichandran Ashwin) practised informing Ravichandran Ashwin that he would not be playing the next game.

Twitter was abuzz with Indian fans' reactions, with #reasonsICCannouncedtheworldcupisnotoveryet becoming one of Twitter's top ten trending topics worldwide. Opinions ranged from Twitterer @saaconsultancy's "always india match more extra................. play" to @vishal_c's "http://bit.ly/bApXyb" to an interesting Star Trek-based meme by @Oldmonk_MGM. The consensus was that it would not matter since most of them would be sitting in front of their computers and tweeting at the time anyway, whether or not a match was on.

Former IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi could not be contacted for comment. However it is expected that he will soon tweet a link to this story as it is an article mentioning 'IPL' which does not rip him a new one.

Things I would've tweeted, except I'm on a Twitter break.*

Difficult problems demand strong action. No, really.

Which of the following seven-letter words starting with the letter 'c' could be South Africa's national sport? (a) cricket (b) choking (c) All of the above

Meira Kumar's only significant contribution to Indian politics is "Baith jaaiye, baith jaaiye."

Why does the CBI get to investigate a schoolgirl's murder in Noida, while a cash-for-votes case in the national parliament stays with the Delhi Police?

If you're an Indian parliamentarian, how hard is it to just shut the fuck up and let a fellow MP speak?

#hinduheadlines: http://www.hindu.com/2011/03/26/stories/2011032667712000.htm

Right response, wrong reason. Why does an ordinary citizen with no official position deserve ministerial status?

Is it only me that finds this ironic? 15,500 year-old human remains in Texas? You know, 9,500 years older than the Bible allows the-land-now-known-as-Texas to be?

Bible fundies can learn from Hinduism to be prepared for when Creationism is explicitly proved wrong. 6000 god-years. Many times more than 6000 human years.

First Saif Gaddafi and other assorted Libya connections, now this. Oh well, you can't spell 'asshole' without L, S and E.

I find a statement in this insulting to "actual prostitutes".

Either Newt Gingrich has made another boo-boo, or he means to say that America is an intelligent nation dominated by stupid people.

The only plus point to how far right American politics has moved is that all the extremist righties can only (1) fall off the edge or (2) loop around to the left again.

A twenty five year old aircraft carrier on auction: absolutely perfect for the Indian navy then.

Charlatan.

Can we stop hyphenating India and China now?

 

* Wimpy loophole usage, I know.

On political posters.

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This AIADMK poster (currently doing the rounds on my Facebook friend list) might well be the best political poster I've ever seen in Indian politics - a not-very-subtle shot at their political arch-rivals, the ruling DMK in Tamil Nadu.

Background: For many years, the elections in TN have alternated between the AIADMK and the DMK, until the DMK established a hegemony with promises of free TVs and dirt-cheap rice (at great loss to the state exchequer) in the last two elections. The DMK is also one of the main coalition partners of the Congress-led central government, adding to their power. However, the recent 2G spectrum scam at the central government level (with DMK man A. Raja at the centre and DMK president M. Karunanidhi also suspected in hushed tones of complicity) has tilted the balance in the AIADMK's favour and they are now firing from the anti-corruption platform at the state level. Not that the AIADMK are corruption-free - they have had their share of scandals but haven't had any power at the centre for about a decade now. For a while, it looked like they'd lose the next election at the state level too, breaking the five-year DMK-AIADMK alternation that has become standard in the state. Fortunately for them, the 2G spectrum scam is the largest in the history of the country. The next election in the state should be something to watch. In the words of @majorlyprofound, "AK phyrrrrrr!"

I posted this on my Twitter feed today but most of the non-Tamilians (and some of the Tamilians) didn't understand it. Here's a translation of the important bits. My own Tamil is self-taught, so if I commit any errors in translation, please leave a comment.

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23rd death anniversary and 94th birth anniversary of Puratchi Thalaivar MGR - quiz competition for students of class 10 and +2 (11th and 12th).

QUESTIONS:

1. What is the 2G scam?

2. What is a JPC?

3. What is the CBI?

4. What (sic) is the CAG?

5. Write "one lakh seventy six thousand crores" in numerals.

6. How many bundles of 100 notes each of Rs. 1000 are required to make up one lakh seventy six thousand crores?

7. How many bundles of 100 notes each of Rs. 500 are required to make up one lakh seventy six thousand crores?

8. How many bundles of 100 notes each of Rs. 100 are required to make up one lakh seventy six thousand crores?

9. What is the weight of one lakh seventy six thousand crore rupees in Rs. 5 coins?

First prize: Cellphone worth Rs. 3000, Second prize: Cellphone worth Rs. 2000, First prize: Cellphone worth Rs. 1000.

Address for entries: S. Mariappan, M.C. (municipal councillor), Indira Nagar, Virudhunagar

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Genius.

#kidsthesedays

Dinner table conversation with cousin S (age 11):

S: Do you like Justin Bieber?
Me: I hate him.
S: Me too! Justin Bieber sucks!
Me (thinking to myself): Whoa!
S: I love to detest that pig Bieber!
Me (thinking): I have trained you well, padawan!
S: Selena Gomez is the best!
Me (thinking): Fuck. KLPD.

I have obviously lost my ability to be an eleven year old.

The Descent of Subramani - a Shenoy*

(A re-post from my old, now discarded blog)

Warning: This post has the two main characteristics of a good Shenoy* - (1) it is very long and (2) it may cause you to enforce hair-loss upon yourself. Do not say you were not forewarned.
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As we meet Subramani, he is headbanging.

"Wait," you think. "Subramani? Headbanging? Subramani isn't a very headbanger-y name!"

And you would be right.

Subramani wasn't a born headbanger. Subramani was, in fact, a born thaalam-putter. Born into a conservative Iyer family, Subramani had always met the expectations of those around him. At the tender age of six, he had donned his sacred thread and had regularly performed his three sandhyavandhanams a day since. He had always worn his long hair in a tight bun and displayed the three stripes of sacred ash on his forehead with utmost pride. He went to a veda-paathasala - not a masti ki paathshaala by any stretch of imagination - and he enjoyed memorizing the vedas.

But we mentioned putting thaalams, did we not? At the age of four he had begun his music lessons. For three hours a day, Subramani diligently practised music - real music. Not the impure movie nonsense - he shuddered at the thought of movies. Not that immoral English rubbish either - he did not even dare think of the inauspicious things those English "musicians" did. His father had bought a TV to watch cricket and the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams channel. One day, out of sheer curiosity Subramani had been flipping through other channels. On one channel he saw an English girl singing. Her name had something to do with a spear - Subramani did not easily remember these names - and she was wearing a shirt. Shirts were meant for men, and this fact did not escape Subramani. What's more, she did not wear the buttons on said shirt - she tied it at the bottom. Where Subramani lived, even men did not leave their buttons open, and this woman did! He was horrified and switched the TV off immediately. He did not so much as approach it for months afterward - out of sheer shame. No English garbage for our man. Subramani sang pure, divine Carnatic music - and he did it darned well.

His family thought they had raised him in the appropriate fashion.

How wrong they would turn out to be.

The descent of Subramani started when a new sishya joined the veda paathasala. His name was Srivathsan, but he liked introducing himself as Steve. Even Subramani introduced himself as Mani sometimes, but this English name seemed to him rather wrong.

Subramani did not like him.

Srivathsan had been in an English (*shudder*) school, studying English things and talking to girls (the horror!). His parents thought ("Quite rightly so," opined our friend Mani) that their son was being corrupted and so they had taken him out and put him in the paathasala. He had different habits, different tastes and an accent in his Tamil - none of which were understood by his new friends. They avoided him.

Consequently, Srivathsan was a loner. He chorused the vedas with the other boys and carried out all the tasks assigned by the guru. He performed his chores diligently and was as disciplined as anyone else - but he never spoke to anyone. No, whenever he had a free minute, he would put something over his ears and begin to shake his head violently. Needless to say, this scared the pants off the other boys. They were reminded of people they had seen in trances and in demonic possession. Nothing good could come out of this. They stayed away.

But this bothered Mani a lot. He needed to know what it was that Srivathsan was putting over his ears. Surely no one went into demonic possession voluntarily? But it seemed like Srivathsan was doing exactly that. Subramani decided it was time to confront Srivathsan. And confront him, he did.

Srivathsan was nonchalant. "It's only music!" he protested. Subramani refused to believe him. What is that thing you put over your head, he demanded to know. Srivathsan showed him - "This is called an aai-pot", he said. To Mani this sounded suspiciously like a latrine, but English was not his forte, so he did not question this assertion. "It plays music," said Srivathsan. So why did he go into a state of possession? At this, Srivathsan began to laugh. It is only a way of enjoying the music, he said. A bit like a dance, he added. his curiosity piqued, Mani demanded to know what kind of music it was.

Srivathsan put the head-thing over Mani's head and touched something on the aai-pot. It began - a deep rumble, progressing into a roar, then a man screaming something. Then something thumping, more roars, more growls. It was noise, all noise. Mani could not stand it. He took the head-thing off, disgusted. He threw it down and ran from the spot.

That night though, the noises stuck in his memory and kept him awake. They had awakened something inside him and he felt a grotesque impulse to hear it again. The next morning, therefore, he duly presented himself to Srivathsan and asked to listen to the aai-pot again. Srivathsan complied.

And thus began the metallization of Subramani. He convinced Srivathsan to teach him English, so that he could understand the words. He heard stories about guitars, about drums and singers. he learned about rock and heavy metal and death metal. He read magazines about it, he wore t-shirts - black t-shirts! If his parents found out he was wearing black, they would skin him alive - but then, black t-shirts were the least of his transgressions. Therefore he had to keep it all secret. But with Srivathsan, his new best friend, Mani was able to indulge in his new passion without anyone ever finding out.

Years later, a now-teenaged Mani (who by now knew that the aai-pot wasn't actually called that) was reading the latest additions to his secret stash of clandestinely-purchased music magazines. Most of them were awash with stories of a new death metal band from Mumbai. They were, apparently, the hottest thing out of India in years. They even had an international recording contract! They even had a world tour coming - but first they were coming to Madras! Mani knew he must not miss this. He had Srivathsan book the tickets. On the appointed date, he was there - and it is at this point that we meet Subramani.

You now know the how of Subramani's headbanging. And the why - the band was every bit as good as the magazines had said. Suddenly, Subramani realizes he needs a souvenir of this concert. He decides to get a short video of the band performing.

He fumbles through his bag, looking for his camera. "They're a great act," he thinks. "Except for that bloody corny name. Why do they have to name themselves after the lead singer's domestic help?!?!"

He is still fumbling for the camera, now he gets panicky. He knows he's brought it, so it must be in there! His thought stream continues unabated as he finds the camera at last. Just in time, it turns out, for the kick-ass finale is starting.

"They're awesome," thinks Mani. "Kantabai forever!" he thinks. "Hell! There's a must-record!"

*A Shenoy is an art-form named for its greatest proponent, Narendra Shenoy. Unworthy disciples (such as myself) merely attempt to rip him off, so that we may bask in his reflected glory. To understand the greatness of the Shenoy, you must always read the entire story, then read the last line carefully and, in most cases, out loud. Multiple times, if necessary.

Krish Ashok now tells us (after having been told by Jayakanthan himself) they're called feghoots, but that is an insult to the master - Shenoys they will be called.

Read The Master's originals here, here and here. You can also follow his wisdom on Twitter here.

How to date an American Chick (for the non-American)

(Inspired by Andrea Miller)

As an Indian grad student who has lived in America for ten months now, I think I have a ringside view to American dating. Green-card seekers, rejoice. For I will now hold forth on how you can patao gori maal.

We begin with the reasons. America is full of Americans. Despite the best efforts of our countrymen, their universities still seem to have a majority of American people. Wikipedia also says America is full of Americans. Therefore, if we want American citizenship, it is essential that we marry Americans. But since they do not believe in Shaadi.com, we must bow to their methods. After all, if the mountain will not come to Mohammed...

Most Americans of marriageable age (by our standards, I mean - the Americans have no such concept) are to be found in bars and clubs. Being scientifically minded, they are usually engaged in maintaining the water-content of their bodies. This is good, for it is usually the best time to engage them in conversation. Because they may not respond to brown people otherwise. You may live in California and insist otherwise, but having lived in Redneckland for ten months, I know best.

Having approached a woman, you must use a pick-up line. Yes, a telephone also has a line and must be picked up, but that is not what I mean. You must say something ingratiating, such as "Your scent is extremely pleasing to my humble nostrils! It is like jasmine floating up on the Yamuna! Would you like to dance with me my sweet lady?" This is not how the goras approach the process, but it works for us - we get labelled "exotic". And exotic is a bonus!

Once your request has been accepted, dance like an American. Grind. Her posterior against your gentlemen's region works best. If you are from Delhi, just act like you're on a crowded bus together. Americans love this, except when you are actually on a crowded bus together.

You must then learn about American culture. Have a favourite musician. You could say "Justin Bieber", unless you are in a bar, which is not where Justin Bieber's fans may be legally found. Try "David Archuleta". Or just check out Twitter's trending topics list and choose one (except variations on Justin Bieber, such as Bustin and Jieber). However, when choosing the Twitter approach, take care or you might choose one of the Indonesians instead.

Americans are, apparently, big fans of Cultured Indian People. Therefore, it is vital that you take your American Girlfriend to meet your grad student friends. Preferably on a Saturday night. With a large crate of Sam Adams. And some of her female friends. Those last two conditions are vital.

Finally, if and when you do get married, it is important that you assimilate. Be American. After the wedding ceremonies, waste no time - gain weight. On Sundays, do not shower. Instead, watch football, eat nachos with cheese dip and make sure you scratch your groin once in a while. Have the occasional affair on the side. Whatever you do, do not shave your armpits.

In three years you will have a green card. Mission accomplished, my American friend. Now divorce her (this is also an American custom, usually carried out around the third anniversary) and go find yourself a nice Indian lady.

My new bar of soap.

This is exactly what the title says. A blog post about soap. Don't hate me.

I have just opened a new bar of soap. I have not used this brand of soap before.

Soaps are deceptive little bastards. Every day I encounter soaps trying to be what they are not.

Soaps try hard to smell like cucumbers. Or a jar of almonds. Or a waterfall.

The chap standing next to me on the bus knows I do not have a waterfall handy to perform my ablutions on a daily basis.

Even if I did have a waterfall, he wouldn't believe it.

Why must I try to convince him otherwise then?

What does a waterfall smell like anyway? Why do you, O Maker Of Soap, try to sell me soap that tries to smell like a waterfall?

But this bar of soap does not try to smell like a waterfall or a cucumber or a jar of almonds.

It smells like soap.

It is comfortable in its own skin. Like a metrosexual.

I am indifferent to metrosexuals, but I rather like this bar of soap.

 

Blocked by Sagarika Ghose

EDIT: Too many people are taking this as my take on the Maoist issue. It is not - I am not qualified to deliver an opinion on that. I have a problem with Sagarika Ghose coining terms like "internet nationalists", her style of debate and her blocking habit. That is all this post is about.

I'm also being told this is "attention seeking". If I wanted attention, I'd have written a caustic post after Chetan Bhagat blocked me - I didn't. I didn't write this post with the idea of going viral. I wrote this because I didn't think it was right that a person with the power to affect the nation's opinion was incapable of a mature response to simple, justified criticism. The link got posted to my Twitter feed automatically (as this blog has been set to do). People read it, agreed with it and news spread without me asking for any promotion - or even desiring any. I haven't asked for a single retweet from anyone. So I'd appreciate it if the "publicity hound" attacks were kept out of this because I am, in fact, the exact opposite - I'm tiring of all the attention now.

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I'm not gloating. Yes, I got blocked by Chetan Bhagat too. But I was deliberately taking the mickey out of him. Sagarika Ghose's block, however, is a different story.

Ms. Ghose has long been one of my pet peeves. Her "analysis" and posturing have always seemed devoid of the intelligence one would expect from a Rhodes Scholar, Oxonian, Stephenian or journalist with twenty years of experience - and definitely not what one would expect from someone who is all four. Yes, she is all four - put your jaw back in place. She seemed bad enough on television. Then she got into the big bad world of Twitter.

One would expect that a journalist on Twitter would use the medium to communicate with his/her audiences in a fairly neutral fashion, or use it to gauge public opinion. Not so for Ms. Ghose. Her Twitter account is where your opinion goes to die. She comes up with what are, frankly, inane ideas - seemingly meant to annoy more than they are meant to provide meaningful dialogue. Disagree, and she brands you "internet <insert pejorative here>". I kid you not - here's a sample.

So when there was some murmur of the government using air power to take out Maoists after the Dantewada massacre, it came as no surprise that she went all shrill, as always:

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Which is exactly the level of argument I have come to expect from her. Ms. Ghose, if there were Maoists hiding in your posh Delhi neighbourhood (and I have no doubt at all that your neighbourhood is as posh as posh can be), would you stay home and curse the army while you wait for the Maoists to break your door down looking for refuge? Or would you rather move out and let the Army get rid of them, as they are trained to do? Don’t bother answering, because that wasn’t what bothered me most anyway. What bothered me was this “Internet nationalist” rubbish. Really?

But I wasn’t the only one bothered. @arppit asked her:

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To which the ever-eloquent Ms. Ghose had the following to offer:

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Naturally this display of sheer idiocy was a bit too much for me. So I linked to her tweet with the following comment:

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Not my finest, I admit - but I said it like I felt it. Not abusive or severely offensive though, surely? And for good measure, I added a response to the Big Problem I had with her:

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 My point being – if we really want Indians to get educated (and on the internet, among other things), it’s probably not a good idea to paint the internet as some refuge of elitist intellectuals who don’t care for the Poor and Underprivileged – because we Online People are anything but. And it’s probably a worse idea to diss the internet when you’re there yourself, screeching to anyone who cares to listen. Typically, she missed (or dodged) the point completely:

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 And then she blocked me.

 She is well within her rights to block me without any reason at all. That is not my problem. My concern is that these sensationalism salespeople get onto a forum where they can actually gauge the pulse of their audiences and learn what their consumers expect of them. Except, they use it to create more sensationalism and shoot down anyone who has anything sensible to say to them. Snow globes break, Ms. Ghose – and when they do, there’s nothing to stop the contents falling out. So it’s probably not a good idea to live in one.

But that’s the beauty of Twitter, I guess – if a Stephenian-Oxonian-Rhodes Scholar with 20 years of journalism experience cannot answer two simple pieces of criticism from a 23-year old with some expectations, she can just block him out of her life and move along.